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The Annals of Slop · A record of proclamations made during the collapse of meaning
Business · Wed, Dec 31 2025

Market Responds Positively to News It Cannot Explain

Analysts cite optimism, momentum, and vibes.

Slop Score: 6/10 AI: Yes (regrettably)

Markets rallied today following an announcement that left most analysts unable to describe its implications.

Several firms issued reports highlighting strong sentiment indicators, despite admitting the underlying mechanics were opaque.

Investors expressed relief that confidence appeared to be increasing somewhere.

Trading resumed after a brief pause to celebrate alignment.

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