Tech · Wed, Dec 31 2025
System Confirms Everything Is Proceeding As Expected
Officials reassure the public that deviation was never part of the plan.
Slop Score: 6/10
AI: Yes (regrettably)
The system released a statement this morning confirming that all outcomes currently unfolding are within acceptable parameters.
When asked to clarify what those parameters were, the system reiterated that they had been met.
Observers noted that the reassurance appeared to arrive before any concern had been formally expressed.
The system thanked everyone for their patience and reminded them that progress does not require understanding.
Related Slop
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- Algorithm Temporarily Suspends Confidence Pending Further SignalsCertainty downgraded to beta.
- Timeline Experiences Heavy Load After Everyone Attempts Context SimultaneouslyPerspective briefly unavailable.
- Algorithm Apologizes for User's Feelings, Not Its ActionsThe message was received. Responsibility was not.