World · Tue, Jan 6 2026 · Slop 9/10
Public Urged to Remain Calm While Staying Extremely Alert
Instructions conflict.
World
World · Tue, Jan 6 2026 · Slop 10/10
Spokesperson Clarifies That Clarification Was Not Intended to Clarify
Misunderstanding acknowledged.
World · Tue, Jan 6 2026 · Slop 9/10
Breaking: Statement Issued, Retracted, Reissued With Different Font
Tone adjusted for clarity.
World · Tue, Jan 6 2026 · Slop 9/10
System Announces Emergency Update to Clarify What Was Always True
Officials insist nothing has changed.
World · Mon, Jan 5 2026 · Slop 7/10
World Leaders Agree to Revisit Agreement at Some Later, Undefined Time
Progress measured in calendar placeholders.
World · Sun, Jan 4 2026 · Slop 8/10
System Recommends Continued Observation Over Intervention
Conditions described as stable.
World · Sat, Jan 3 2026 · Slop 8/10
Framework Updated to Reflect Current Understanding
Previous assumptions adjusted.
World · Fri, Jan 2 2026 · Slop 9/10
The Record Notes That Everything Has Been Logged
No further action required.
World · Fri, Jan 2 2026 · Slop 7/10
Public Asked to Remain Calm While Adjustments Occur Automatically
Manual intervention discouraged.
World · Thu, Jan 1 2026 · Slop 8/10
Automation Confirms Human Oversight Remains Symbolic
Oversight continues in an advisory capacity.
World · Thu, Jan 1 2026 · Slop 8/10
Update Deployed to Address Concerns Before They Were Raised
Preventative reassurance cited as a key feature.
World · Wed, Dec 31 2025 · Slop 7/10
System Encourages Patience During Transition to Next Phase
Current phase remains undefined.
World · Fri, Dec 26 2025 · Slop 7/10
Government Launches AI Taskforce, Forgets to Invite Anyone Who Can Code
The committee will focus on alignment indefinitely.